Have you ever been embarrassed by something you oppose publicly but found yourself doing privately?
I have.
By nature, I am into monogamous relationships. I am a puritanical idealist in this regard- wanting my “the one” to forge life together. Yet, I lived a highly promiscuous life. It was this hypocrisy in my character that drove me to seek ‘Sexual Healing Therapy’. I discovered how brilliant our minds are, but how brilliantly our minds lie. My mind had created narratives stemming from childhood sexual abuse that drove the impulses that fed my promiscuous lifestyle even though my heart hated that I was being the opposite of who I wanted to be.
In human nature selective morality is a HUGE problem. More often than not we excuse our personal failings by romanticising our lifestyles to make it easier to justify them and hide our shame.
I certainly was with the band of brothers exclaiming, but lying to myself, “My sex life isn’t hurting anyone. Sex is natural.”
But, my sex life was hurting someone- Me!
God has helped me get to a point of choosing to practice celibacy to honour Jesus for saving me, by helping me fall in love with Himself enough to value Him more than my lies.
If you have struggled with selective morality welcome to the club. In fact this club is so big that it includes every human ever born (bar Jesus), living, and yet to be born. You are not alone.
Genesis 42 vs 21 is an excellent mirror for us to stare into the consequences of selective morality. We see the anguish of how our choices eat away at us, as it did Joseph’s brothers who sold him into slavery AND lied to Jacob about Joseph being dead- killed by wild animals.
David Guzik, ‘Enduring Word’ has a remarkable note of this account in Genesis 42 vs 21.
I love this comment, “When the sunlight of God’s word shines on our conscience, it is reliable and trustworthy; apart from that, it isn’t always reliable.”
WHY ISN’T OUR CONSCIENCE, OUTSIDE OF GOD’S DIRECTION UNRELIABLE?
The short answer is that we are influenced.
Studies show that what drives our moral compass is self-preservation. We adapt according to herd-mentality unless that herd threatens our own personal perceived rights of freedom. In short, our morality is selective on the basis of “saving” ourselves.
To quote, ‘Nature Communication, reveal that people will ‘selectively activate’ different moral values in group situations, according to the demands of the social situation. But when it comes to individual moral values – those which shape beliefs on one’s own rights and freedoms – social context has no impact.’ – https://dobetter.esade.edu/en/selective-moral-values
‘Wild At Heart’ weighs in heavily on selective morality, schooling us to check our hearts.
Pearson, ‘Higher Education’ about morality tells us it is an unavoidable aspect of life. To quote, ‘Morality claims our lives. It makes claims upon each of us that are stronger than the claims of law and takes priority over self-interest. As human beings living in the world, we have basic duties and obligations. There are certain things we must do and certain things we must not do. In other words, there is an ethical dimension of human existence. As human beings, we experience life in a world of good and evil and understand certain kinds of actions in terms of right and wrong. The very structure of human existence dictates that we must make choices. Ethics helps us use our freedom responsibly and understand who we are. And, ethics gives direction in our struggle to answer the fundamental questions that ask how we should live our lives and how we can make right choices.’ – https://www.pearsonhighered.com/assets/samplechapter/0/2/0/5/0205053149.pdf
Jesus had some scathing words to the Pharisees for their pious selective morality.
Matthew 23:1-3, 5, 23, 25, 28 ESV
”Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do.
For they preach, but do not practice.
They do all their deeds to be seen by others.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
PRAYER:
Father God, please reveal in me all the areas that I practice selective morality as a defence to self-preserve by ignoring You as Sovereign and the Final Authority of ethics and morality. Help me be more like Jesus who is The Standard. Teach me to surrender more deeply to You by living as You say is Right.
In Messiah King Jesus’ Mighty Name.
AMEN
Listen to these lyrics…..
JESUS LOVES YOU
#Hayibo 