When Adulthood Drowns the Heart of a Child

Abstract

This article explores the theological and psychological dynamics of “spiritual survivalism”, a condition marked by performance-based religiosity, emotional fatigue, and a loss of childlike receptivity to Christ. Grounded in John 6 and informed by theology, psychology, sociology, and anthropology, this study offers a multidisciplinary reflection on the crisis of adult spiritual exhaustion. By drawing on voices from both the Global North and South, and integrating qualitative data from pastoral experience, the paper proposes a constructive theological model for reclaiming intimacy with God in a culture of output and performance. This public theology essay invites the reader to reconsider futility not as failure but as a sacred summons to Presence.

Keywords: spiritual survivalism, burnout, childlike faith, public theology, exhaustion, anthropology, ecclesial trauma, Presence

Introduction: When the Rowing Feels Pointless

2025 has been a paradoxical year, both breathtaking and brutal. Somewhere in the pressure to survive a fractured economy, navigate invisible emotional labour, and carry the hope of the gospel into a restless world, many of us are left gasping beneath the surface of adulthood. Even good work begins to feel futile. The soul fatigues not from laziness, but from a form of spiritual survival, rowing endlessly, yet never arriving.

As a hairstylist, I’ve witnessed the paradox up close: immaculately groomed monsters and dishevelled saints. The outside polished; the inside starving. In this setting, I found myself writing two raw poems: The Quintessential Rage and We Chose Barabbas, as cries from a soul caught between performance and Presence.

[The Quintessential Rage- https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16d8VWiCaF/?mibextid=wwXIfr]

[We Chose Barabbas- https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16Qj9PwMDh/?mibextid=wwXIfr]

What I didn’t expect was that God would respond with solutions from Scripture, particularly, John 6, a passage that revealed a haunting contrast between those who chased Jesus for provision and those who simply received Him. That insight led to a deeper question:

What happens when adulthood drowns out the innocence of a child-heart reception of Jesus?

Theological Framework: “Spiritual Survivalism” Defined

The term spiritual survivalism, as used here, describes a psychological and theological posture in which believers, burdened by cultural expectations and unresolved trauma, trade intimacy with God for religious effort. This mode of being is not merely spiritual fatigue; it is a functional worldview shaped by the myth that God must be earned.

Key Symptoms:

• Relational disengagement from God while retaining religious function
• Over-identification with productivity as proof of spiritual worth
• Inability to receive or rest without guilt

Primary Causes:

• Cultural hyper-individualism
• Ecclesial over-programming
• Unprocessed personal or communal trauma

In theological terms, spiritual survivalism echoes Luther’s pre-Reformation anxiety, salvation through striving, while Balthasar’s theology of receptivity reminds us that grace is not transaction but gift.¹

Biblical Anchor: The Boat and the Chase (John 6:21–26)

“Then they willingly received Him into the boat, and immediately the boat was at the land where they were going.”²

Here, in one of Scripture’s quietest miracles, the disciples receive Jesus, and arrive. No more oars. No more waves. Presence ends the striving.

In contrast, the crowd “got into boats and came to Capernaum, seeking Jesus.”³ But their pursuit is interrogated:

“You seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.”⁴

The distinction is profound: the disciples received Him; the crowd chased Him. One posture yields rest; the other, spiritual exhaustion.

David Guzik notes that John layers geography with spiritual meaning; the movement of the crowd mirrors a deeper unrest of soul.⁵ Their seeking is not for transformation, but for transaction.

Theology of Exhaustion: God in Depletion

This invites us to consider a mini-theology of exhaustion. According to Jürgen Moltmann, the Spirit is not only the breath of life but the One who sustains in suffering.⁶ Dorothee Soelle deepens this by asserting that spiritual numbness is the fruit of a society that suppresses lament.⁷

Futility, then, is not failure, it may be the whisper of God asking us to stop rowing.

Psychological Correlation: Burnout and the Adult Soul

Burnout is now globally recognised by the World Health Organization as a diagnosable occupational syndrome, marked by emotional exhaustion, depersonalisation, and reduced accomplishment.⁸

Psychologist Christina Maslach’s burnout triad finds unexpected resonance in Miroslav Volf’s theology of Spirit-empowered labour: “Work without the Spirit becomes soul-eroding toil.”⁹

This confluence reveals a theological anthropology in which humans are not created for constant effort, but for relational receptivity.

Developmental psychologist Nancy Eisenberg affirms that children, by contrast, possess innate prosocial responsiveness—relational trust that many adults lose.¹⁰ This loss is not just psychological, it is spiritual.

Global Insights: The Crisis as Public Theology

From a South African perspective, Mpho Tshivhase critiques how society strips individuals of personhood through utility metrics.¹¹ Similarly, Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela’s trauma research shows that spiritual fatigue is historically shaped by systemic violence and moral disintegration.¹²

Liberation theologian Carlos Mestersargues that poverty sharpens spiritual hunger, exposing the idolatry of provision.¹³ This insight aligns with Paulo Freire’s idea that oppressive structures produce “false consciousness”, even in faith.¹⁴

Marilyn Strathern’s anthropology critiques Western individualism, reinforcing that identity is always relational.¹⁵ Thus, spiritual survivalism is not merely personal; it is socially conditioned.

Counterpoint: Longing as Formation?

Could spiritual survivalism also be sanctification? Philosopher James K.A. Smith argues that longing, felt as absence, may be the echo of divine pursuit.¹⁶ Rowan Williams similarly suggests that God’s apparent silence can mature us into deeper trust.

Still, Kate Bowler warns against conflating provision with Presence. Prosperity theology wrongly teaches that divine favour is measured by comfort, which only fuels spiritual performance anxiety.¹⁷

The Child Within: Anthropology and Receptivity

Jesus said:

“Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom.”¹⁸

This is not sentimentality, it is spiritual anthropology. Mercy Amba Oduyoyereminds us that, in many African contexts, surrender is not naïveté but wisdom.¹⁹ Victor Turner’s work on liminality reveals that transformation often begins in surrender, not achievement.²⁰

Embodied Witness: Voices from the Field

In my own work, I’ve heard countless echoes of spiritual fatigue. One client said, “I read my Bible like a job description. I don’t know how to just be with God anymore.”

A spiritual mentor once told me: “You are rowing so hard, you’ve missed the fact that Jesus is already in the boat.”

These aren’t anomalies. They are the pulse of a spiritual generation.

Conclusion: What Must We Do to Arrive?

Return.

Not to a better strategy.
Not to higher theology.
But to the child who once believed Jesus was enough.

Let the seeking become kneeling.
Let the job become a sacred altar.
Let futility become the whisper that awakens hunger for Presence; not performance.

Because maybe you’re not missing something.
Maybe you’re being invited to receive Someone.

Practical Application: From Rowing to Receiving

Spiritual survivalism is not always visible, but it is always lived. The following practices aim to translate the theological insights of this article into daily spiritual discipline. These are not formulae, but invitations into rhythms of receptivity.

1. Audit Your Seeking

Take time to ask: What am I actually chasing in my walk with God, His presence, or His provision?
Reflect on whether your prayers are more about outcomes than intimacy. Journal your answers without censoring them.

2. Reclaim Stillness as a Theological Act

Resist the urge to “push through” when you feel spiritually dry. Instead, practise non-anxious presence, moments of stillness where you invite God without agenda. Let silence become sanctuary, not failure.

3. Memorialise a Moment of Pure Reception

Recall a time when you received Jesus with childlike joy. What happened? Who were you then? Revisit that moment with gratitude, and allow it to become a spiritual anchor in your current wilderness.

4. Let the Job Become an Altar

Invite the Spirit into your workday, whether creative, mundane, or frustrating. Say aloud: This space belongs to Jesus. Let Presence interrupt performance. You don’t need to row alone.

5. Name the Exhaustion with Others

Speak honestly in trusted community about the inner fatigue you carry. You are not alone in this. The church is a body, not a treadmill. Truthful lament is part of faith, not a betrayal of it.

6. Create a “Receiving” Ritual

Develop a small daily ritual of reception, lighting a candle, kneeling in prayer, praying a short psalm aloud, anything that affirms, I do not need to chase Jesus. He is already here.

Prayer

Inspired by Matthew 18:3, John 6:21, and Romans 8:20

Jesus,
I have rowed so hard.
In the name of ministry. In the name of faith. In the name of survival.
But I confess, my striving has often kept me from You.

I have mistaken provision for Presence, success for surrender, effort for intimacy.
I have feared being still.
I have forgotten how to receive.

So teach me again what it means to be a child in Your kingdom,
Unarmed. Unperforming. Undeserving, yet entirely welcome.
Let futility no longer mock me, but invite me to trust.

Collapse the illusion of control I carry.
Interrupt my survivalism with Your sufficiency.
Climb into the boat of my fatigue.
And when You do, Jesus, bring me home.

In Your Holy Name King Jesus,

Amen.

References

1. Hans Urs von Balthasar, The Glory of the Lord: A Theological Aesthetics, vol. 1 (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1982).
2. Holy Bible, John 6:21 (ESV).
3. Ibid., John 6:24.
4. Ibid., John 6:26.
5. David Guzik, Enduring Word Bible Commentary: John 6, https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/john-6/.
6. Jürgen Moltmann, The Spirit of Life: A Universal Affirmation (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 1992).
7. Dorothee Soelle, Suffering(Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1975).
8. World Health Organization, “Burn-out an ‘Occupational Phenomenon,’” WHO, 2019.
   https://www.who.int/news/item/28-05-2019-burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon-international-classification-of-diseases.
9. Christina Maslach, Wilmar B. Schaufeli, and Michael P. Leiter, “Job Burnout,” Annual Review of Psychology 52 (2001): 397–422.
   https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.397.
10. Nancy Eisenberg et al., The Roots of Prosocial Behavior in Children(Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1991).
11. Mpho Tshivhase, The Pursuit of Personhood: Identity and Dignity in African Philosophy (Pretoria: Unisa Press, 2020).
12. Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, A Human Being Died That Night: A South African Story of Forgiveness (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 2003).
13. Carlos Mesters, “Reading the Bible from the Experience of the Poor,” in Voices from the Margin, ed. R.S. Sugirtharajah (Maryknoll: Orbis, 2006).
14. Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed (New York: Continuum, 1970).
15. Marilyn Strathern, The Gender of the Gift (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988).
16. James K.A. Smith, You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit(Grand Rapids: Brazos Press, 2016).
17. Kate Bowler, Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2013).
18. Holy Bible, Matthew 18:3 (ESV).
19. Mercy Amba Oduyoye, Introducing African Women’s Theology (Cleveland: Pilgrim Press, 2001).
20. Victor Turner, The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure (New York: Aldine, 1969).
21. Pew Research Center, “In U.S., Decline of Christianity Continues at Rapid Pace,” Pew Forum, 2019.
    https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2019/10/17/in-u-s-decline-of-christianity-continues-at-rapid-pace.