🔥🔥🔥BOOM!!!🔥🔥🔥
Settling into my Father’s Holy Word, I set my sights on reading as much as I can as my ‘Read The Bible In A Year’ accountability group has disappeared, but I am committed to stay the course, even if I do so alone. Well, not that I am ever alone because God is always around for me to draw into.
But, typical of my DAD, He has another plan. 😂
I have completed the book of Acts, 1 Chronicles, on Psalm 90, and decide to read Proverbs and potentially finish it in one sitting.
Ha, am I side-swiped with a spiritual uppercut in the solar plexus.
Man, I love how Jesus just knows how to grasp my mind my heart, and leads me into what only can be described as THEE love affair of my life. Truly.
Proverbs 18 starts with such a profound statement that I could preach it for weeks on end- both from my personal experience and from an academic perspective.
In Recovery it is widely spoken about how addictions and behavioural dysfunction leads to isolation. It is in the distraught vulnerability that the devil goes to town on our mind leading us towards suicidation.
SO WHY WOULD GOD TELL US, “ISOLATION EQUATES SEEKING ONE’S OWN DESIRE?”
Here is the pattern…..
When we are open to being accountable to others, we are being influenced by other points of reference and thought. By default, we can measure ourselves as to whether our brand of stinking-thinking (we all think stink sometimes) is going too far from socially conducive.
Yes, people will get on our nerves, that is part of being alive. We get on eachother’s nerves because we are only one of ourselves within a global population of ones of ourselves that have to cooperate for the greater good in a functional society. By proxy we each want to be valued so we fight eachother to oust eachother to get just a little more “value”. It’s an insecurity thing.
However, when we start hiding, this is where we start to fester, stewing in our party-for-one. Because we cut off reasonable influence we feed our sickness to ourselves. A catch phrase from therapy is, “A sick mind cannot fix itself.”
So we get twisted.
A PERSONAL ACCOUNT:
When I started therapy, age 25, and went into each of the 5 rehab stays, I was blown away that I wasn’t unique in my suicidal thoughts, addiction struggle, unhealed trauma, and self-hatred. There were gorgeous others, overweight others, rich, poor, all ethnicities, super-educated, and school dropouts, creatives, academics, and those floating-between-here-and-nowhere-“spiritual” types.
I was shocked.
Shocked, because I had gotten to the drugging on my own as I didn’t trust anyone (ironic), so I was amazed that I wasn’t the only one down in the rabbit-hole.
As God does, ALWAYS, the lights when on. I was no longer the, “Pathetic, useless, druggie, gay, promiscuous, loser,” as the ‘accuser of the brethen’ kept pounding me with, but I was a hurting person hurting himself as that is all he knew how.
I am 49 years old now.
I cannot remember when last I had a nagging suicidal thought. I am 6 1/2 years clean, 5 1/2 years voluntarily practicing celibacy, and nearly out of the woods with my amends.
I laugh everyday of my life. And, best of all, I know that Jesus saves me, every day. Look, I need to be supervised. I have a thirst for life, a curious mind, and more energy than most youth, so it needs channeling. How lucky am I that God’s Holy Spirit voluntarily chooses to be that supervisor. 😂.
Desire can be a destructive thing when left in our hands that have been injured by life. But, when God turns desire towards Himself, like He has done to me with Proverbs 18 this morning, all I can testify is, “WOW, what a Rollercoaster ride our DAD is.”
Learning to die to self is an adventure of a lifetime. It hurts sometimes. It is embarrassing sometimes admitting how weak we are. It is frustrating losing arguments to God EVERY time.
BUT,……..
IT ALSO IS ALWAYS TO OUR BENEFIT THAT ENDS WITH THE GLORIOUS OUTCOME OF BEING BACK HOME WHERE WE BELONG AS CHILDREN OF LIGHT, COHEIRS WITH OUR MESSIAH KING JESUS.
Jesus absolutely adores us.
Have a blessed day.
🔥🔥🔥
#Hayibo 